\'make love to me or i kill you\'; paper bag rapist victim recounts her attack at 13

It is the first day of spring April 26, 1981.
The two girls giggled and talked about the boys, sharing a pure cigarette on a wooded trail near university B SchoolC.
Donate land.
A branch broke behind them.
Then the sound.
\"Put your hand on your head and turn around and don\'t look back. ”Thirteen-year-
Old Kaimen Aguirre and her 12-year-
The old cousin Macarena was forced out of the Fairview Trail, kicked and pushed face down to the moss-covered ground, with a gun pressing behind their neck.
They were not allowed to look at the man\'s face, and the voice continued, cool, \"surprisingly calm.
\"You have two choices,\" he said . \"
\"Either you have sex with me or I kill you.
It will be rape, Carmen noted.
She told him to kill her.
She would rather be murdered than raped.
The man who pointed a gun at their head was John Horace Orton, a paper bag rapist, one of Canada\'s most brutal serial criminals.
Prior to his arrest in 1985, he would sexually assault and intimidate nearly 200 victims, most of whom were children, including two boys.
Orton ruthlessly follows his prey, picks the children in pairs, rapes one and makes the other feel responsible.
He blindfolded the victim\'s eyes, or put a paper bag on their heads, disguised and sometimes dressed up as a policeman.
He\'s a monster.
Psychological torture lasted for three hours.
He told Macarena that Carmen was a prostitute and she planned the whole thing.
What she wants.
The voice calmly detailed how Carmen would chop Macarena together if he did not comply, and then bury her in a plastic bag.
Macarena looked at her cousin and said, \"please. Do it for me.
Finally, Carmen said, \"Okay.
\"I don\'t know yet that a person hasn\'t overcome childhood rape, and a person just learned how to integrate it,\" Aguirre wrote in her new memoir, Mexican prostitute 1 . \".
She remembers that after the rape she was comforted by hearing a robin singing in a tree.
She does not know that her life will always be intertwined with the life of a rapist;
He will be with her in \"every bedroom, every relationship, every moment\" until 33 years later, through the restorative justice process, she took the courage to meet \"this man who still holds my life in his hand.
\"Aguirre\'s first memoir, the best-selling book, the fierce things, details her life as a Chilean refugee and her experience of returning to South America as a young woman to join the peace, the resistance that her mother took part in
If \"fierce things\" is a memoir of a revolutionary, then \"Mexican prostitute 1\" is an artist\'s memoir.
Instead of accepting the traditional roles of maids and prostitutes as a Latin actress, aguiré became a playwright, shaping a strong female role and exploring racism, gender discrimination
She had no intention of writing a memoir about rape.
But when she started writing, \"it was there.
Rape is the center of everything.
\"As a student at Vancouver Studio 58, Aguirre\'s first flashback was in a tense voice class.
She wrote: \"I went through the needle forest and didn\'t notice the branches beating my face, and the Bushes pulled blood beads from my calves.
As I walked through the lush greenery, the light penetrated the top of the towering rainforest trees, holding my sandals with trembling hands, and my bare soles knocked on the pine trees --
The needle covers the ground.
We\'re alive, she remembers. we\'re alive!
After class, Aguire recalled his happy mood.
\"I skipped 40.
Whoo-Ninth Avenue
Honking at the top of my lungs, holding out my arms, and throwing my head back . . . . . . [the rape]
Now being kicked out of my body and never coming back to bother me . . . . . . \"She was too wrong.
When the rapists retreated, the girls counted to 200 and ran out of the woods, sobbing, trembling, covered with blood.
They tried to mark a car on University Avenue. No one stopped.
Then there was the police station, about what she was wearing and why she took her cousin to the forest, whether she angered the man and whether she was sure it was rape.
In the busy emergency room, a police officer shouted under escort, so everyone heard, \"We have a rape case here.
A doctor and nurse never spoke to her when they \"dug up semen\" from her vagina to prepare a rape kit.
Finally, I heard the doctor say to her father that it must have been rape.
\"A young girl raped under a gun and was not guilty until she was proved innocent,\" Aguirre wrote . \".
Aguire got up the next day to go to school.
That afternoon, she completed her paper route, the Vancouver Sun;
Later in the same year, it will publish a story about paper bag rapists.
It is a strong resistance to continue.
Resistance has always been at the center of her life, she explained.
After a military coup in September 1973, her family fled Chile as a political refugee.
Raised in the Chilean community of political exiles in Vancouver, aguiré said, \"standing up and continuing your life is a way to say \'You didn\'t hurt me\' and you made me stronger
I was raised by people who had no luxury in their birthplaces.
At that time, the Chilean community was the poorest in the city.
We\'re not here.
Everyone works.
Including the children.
American children go to help their parents clean up at night.
You keep going because you have no choice.
Her own father felt too painful to talk about it.
Aguirre said: \"There is nothing to prepare you for the aftermath, including dealing with adults who don\'t talk to you about it because they don\'t know what to say.
All of this is traumatic for a child.
The more silence you have, the more shame and guilt you feel.
\"Aguirre did her best to continue her life.
When Oughton was caught and convicted, she lived in Argentina.
She did not attend the trial;
She tried to leave the rape behind.
But after the flashback from the performance class, the director of the school asked her to be treated.
Suddenly, the rape incident was \"a satellite orbiting the Earth . . . . . . Falling from the air in the flames, landing in the center of my life.
\"I have problems with relationships, especially with intimacy, but I don\'t know how to deal with it, which is too daunting,\" Aguirre said . \".
She went through it.
Trauma stress disorders, including separation during intimate relationships, \"chronic emotional pain\", fluctuations, and triggers.
In her early 30 s, she finally collapsed.
\"I have had years of treatment and physical exercise.
I have to make a full commitment to treatment.
\"Aguirre did not think it would help to identify as a victim.
\"I won\'t let rapists get away with it --
Of course he hurt me.
But what should I do if I identify as a victim?
How can I overcome it?
On May 1995, 10 years after Oughton was arrested, declared a dangerous criminal and sentenced to life imprisonment, one of his victims publicly called on other survivors to come forward for a parole hearing.
Aguire knew she was leaving.
Meeting with other victims in Agassi\'s mountain agency paedophile district filled her with \"a great sense of relief \".
When Aguirre heard the stories of other women, she finally understood that she was not alone and not personal, and that Orton was a neuropathy.
\"If it weren\'t for me and Macarena, it would be two other girls --or boys.
For the first time, she felt sympathy for \"The child who was still shrinking in my stomach.
For years, she has blamed herself for \"being well developed at the age of 13, wanting to go and see men on the day things happen, smoking in the woods.
\"The book has no details about rape or its consequences. Heart-
The story told by Aguirre stopped, indelible beauty, exquisite and painful, honest and incredibly brave.
Throughout the story, rape unfolds in a piecemeal way, like a memory --
It invades and retreats, floods and retreats until the inevitable end.
In the summer of 2014, Aguire spent an extraordinary five years.
One-hour meeting with rapists at the prison chapel, led by restorative doctorsJudicial Expert
\"I have no hope for anything,\" Aguire said . \".
\"He\'s a Neuropathy. Where should he be.
But it\'s important that I look into his eyes.
Under her steady gaze, Orton became agitated, shaking back and forth, without expressing remorse.
But Aguirre said she saw him for the first time. Really saw him.
This changed her in turn.
\"It feels like my heart is expanding in my body and sending out light.
I feel much more relaxed, as if my heart is much bigger.
\"A heart enough to hold the whole world: she used to be a child, now a woman, and he.